


Restless

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-04
Updated: 2004-03-04
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: After the end of season 3.





	Restless

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Authors: Connor and Rowan – yes, we did this together  
Dedication: This is for Paul who’s turning 25 today, who came out to his parents last night which wasn’t all pleasant. Baby, know that we still love you and that you can have our couch whenever you need it.

* * *

Brian reached the end of one street and turned down another. He began counting his steps wondering what to do with his day, how he had ended up in this shit and if he’d ever manage to pull himself out again.

How was it possible that everything he had once longed for now no longer seemed enough? How could he have so much of what he’d asked for – and find it totally lacking?

How could he feel so empty?

Was he already old enough for his first midlife crisis? He groaned even thinking about it.

Brian realized that walking aimlessly down the streets was stupid, but there was little else to do. All of his friends and his lover had their own lives to deal with. Justin was at the diner bussing tables. Mikey was still God knows where with the little hustler kid. Ben was trying to find a lawyer who was bold enough to represent their case in court. Emmett was still moping and he hadn’t the slightest interest in what Ted was doing.

He stopped in the middle of Liberty Avenue, the life buzzing around him, and felt totally alone. It wasn’t the first time he’d been alone, but somehow it felt different this time. More alone than usual, or something. It was like that time when he’d started high school and felt like a big weird combination of way too fast and way too slow, too little and too much, all at the same time. Back when his life was always so up and down, riding the coaster highs of sweet, perfect cocks and forbidden drinks. 

Back to those long nights spent on Mikey’s porch trying to avoid the rages of his drunken and angry father who was always ready to strike him. He hated spending the night on Mikey’s porch. It was uncomfortable and often cold but he ended up spending a hell of a lot of nights there. The hardest thing, always, was the feeling of being alone. He wished he had someone to talk to, even listening to Mikey’s babbling beat being alone. Sometimes Debbie would join him, invite him to spend the night on the couch, but he always declined. He still hadn’t figured out why he’d never spent a single night inside the house and he probably never would.

Brian blinked and returned his thoughts to the scene surrounding him. His eyes focused on a middle-aged man in tight leather clothes hurrying past him, a folded paper in his hand. Brian had never seen him before, and if God was merciful never would again. Other people were there, but all the faces were unfamiliar. Not a single one of them was of any help at all with the low, nervous flutter in his stomach that for some strange reason wouldn’t go away. The man in leather eventually disappeared from view. Brian took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, opened the door to the diner and finally went inside.

*****

Justin’s first thought was that Fridays used to be good. Fridays used to mean hungry queers, good tips and some laughter. People were relaxed because Fridays used to mean two days of nothing to do, nowhere to be and nobody to answer to for most of them.

But not anymore. Friday was suddenly like any other day and it looked like shit. Or maybe it had something to do with Debbie wiping her eyes all the time, trying to hide the tears that were welling up like a source from the ground.

“Can I get a non-fat latte around here?”

And like that, just like that, Friday once again looked great. “Hi, Brian,” Justin said, as if he hadn’t seen the man just a few hours ago. He felt a huge grin spread over his face – and didn’t care. None of this morning had seemed entirely real, hell if he was honest, none of the previous week had, but this was real. Brian sitting at the counter with a little half-smirk playing around his lips was as real as it could get.

A pair of hazel eyes met his and the grin widened even more. “You know we don’t have non-fat latte. But you can have the real thing.”

The innuendo was clear and Brian caught up on it instantly. “Yeah, can’t wait to taste it.”

That almost sounded like Brian had been anxious to see him. Justin quickly squelched the fizzle of happiness that tried to bubble up inside. There could have been a whole lot of reasons Brian had turned up at the diner this morning. And besides, the man was so full of shit one could hardly believe it.

“I’m done here in an hour,” he said when he placed the cup of coffee in front of Brian. “Why wait the whole day?”

Brian sipped, seemed to consider it – and said nothing. So Justin sighed inwardly, went back to serving customers and had almost forgotten about it, as Brian got up and was almost out of the door then tossed over his shoulder, “It’s a date.”

*****

Fuck.

Think. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do much of anything except squirm under the enthusiastic clever tongue making intimate contact with his ear and wonder what the fuck was wrong with him. Because he was Brian Kinney, and he’d fucked almost everything and everyone walking around on two legs and carrying a dick between them in Pittsburgh, and still this kid, this … Justin was so much more than everything and everyone else.

Justin was licking his ear and whispering things to him. Justin with his soft lips, his wet tongue and fingers that seemed everywhere on his body. He always made Brian so hard; fuck he was hard like a randy teenager. It should scare him to death – and it did.

Brian cocked his head, pulling his ear out of Justin’s mouth. “Slow down.”

Immediately, Justin’s grip loosened and he pulled back. “What?” Justin seemed puzzled and was clearly waiting for an explanation. An explanation Brian didn’t have. How was he going to explain that nothing had changed and yet everything had? He felt Justin’s hands still moving on him, uncoordinated now, eager, and his own were all over the kid, like he couldn’t help himself, because he … simply couldn’t.

He knew better than to lose himself like this. Knew better. But the knowing parts were losing out, big time, to the wanting parts. The parts that told him to get everything he could then hold onto it and never let go.

God, it was terrible, terribly tempting. To let go once, to throw all his fears and demons out of the window and let himself feel, let himself be felt.

“What?”

Justin was still looking down on him with that puzzled expression, with those blue, blue eyes, and that killer smile that went through him right into his already rock hard dick. “Nothing,” he said, feeling stupid. “I … just want us to go slow. It’s not like we didn’t do it three times last night.”

“True.” Fuck, the killer smile again. “Slow then.” Justin cocked his head, his eyes mischievous, “How about some ice-cream?” He was gone and Brian heard the fridge door open, and heard himself groan in anticipation. What Justin could do with vanilla ice cream and a spoon …

“You’re all out.” Justin was back, climbing back on the bed, and …

… in one fluid motion impaling himself on Brian’s hard erection.

“Fuuuck,” he groaned, his eyes meeting Justin’s sparkling ones.

“There are things better than ice-cream,” the blond moaned. “Don’t you think?”

“I … think, you’re insane,” he managed, holding himself perfectly still, gritting his teeth against the sensation of his dick in his crushingly tight home wasn’t going on without him. No way. “What about slow?”

Again the grin. Then a slide up … and down. And a wiggle. Brian groaned, heard his teeth grind, heard Justin moan. “Slow…” the blond panted, “… is overrated.” Justin grunted, his brows drawn down low, as he seemed to concentrate on what he was doing.

“God.” That was all he felt he had breath for, because Justin was straddling him, was on him, around him, surrounding him, everywhere. Justin rocked slowly now, moving like a dance, the best dance, liquid and not stiff at all, except where it counted. Brian took a deep breath and let himself relax just a little, holding steady, holding still, ready to go with it – ready to let Justin take the lead.

But then Justin went still – and winced.

Brian looked, and found the blond’s cock was hard and thick and standing up straight and had already dripped a nice little puddle of clear fluid onto his belly, and as he watched, it bobbed, twice. He licked his lips. “Want me to take care of it?”

At the same time his hips wanted to thrust so badly at the thought that his spine tried to turn itself inside out, but he held on. Christ, he’d never imagined anything like this when he’d fucked all the other guys, as hot as they were, but they were nothing compared to this, nothing compared to Justin. Nothing compared to the fucking sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Hmmm,” Justin hummed, and his cock bobbed again, dripped a little more. “Ohhh …” Another slow rock, then a gasp, wince, and still again.

“Let me-“ Brian started, but Justin shook his head frantically, making it clear that he didn’t want to be touched. “You’re mine,” he panted. “And I’m in control.”

“Christ-“ and that was enough of that, really, the idea of Justin being in control was much more than he could take. Brian instantly let go of some of that control that had been twisting everything from his balls to his innards to his brain in knots and he tightened his hold on Justin’s hips. Squeezed, pulled down. He lifted himself up, finally moving smoothly and deeply shivering from the overwhelming wave of … something he couldn’t put into words, in and out and together and apart and fuck …

And yeah, he knew that Justin went a little wild when he got really close to coming. That was nothing compared to this, to being pinned down and held there by Justin’s weight. Watching while the blond threw back his head, drove himself down and shuddered and just took from him. Justin no longer seeming to care about anything except taking, humping and using him in a fierce and desperate way that knocked Brian flat, then jacked him right up and gave him time to get out one surprised grunt before he came, hard. Brian felt sudden wet spurts, hot on his stomach, and he shivered under them, under Justin, who had bent abruptly and was moaning right in his ear.

Panting as if he’d run a marathon, he wrapped his arms around the warm and sweaty body above him and held fast, the emptiness gone, replaced by a blond kid, replaced by Justin. It was a concept he could live with.


End file.
